Wishing you all...

A Very Merry Christmas!

may you make lots of memories and cherish every moment
with your children and family!

And Some special time with your birth families- if you are so blessed!

Have a Happy New Year too!
Be back after the Holidays!

Balancing Vacation Plans

SO, now that we have LOTS of Birth families in our little family- visits can be tricky. Here's a few tips I've come up with when it comes to planning your visits with family and birth families...

1. ALWAYS do what is BEST for YOUR immediate family first-not your parents or extended family.
You can't please everyone all the time so, quit trying. Focus on who you can please- your spouse and kiddos!

2. Make a MAP of your trip/ Timeline but, don't make a play by play list. LEAVE your plans open and flexible when it's possible. The coolest things/ experiences happen when they are not planned!

So for us, we have one afternoon/evening in UT on our way to NV to see Gavin's Birth mom and her entire family. We will have a dinner there but otherwise the rest if the evening in unplanned. We are open to whatever:) You can overbook your hours too quickly, stress out that you are not following your plan or way behind schedule and there goes your sanity and stress levels.

3. DO plan some special time for each birth parent to snuggle/ visit with your/their child.
After dinner, i know that Gavin will be tired, ready for a bottle and such. I let J have some time with him- all she wants to do some or all of these things. It's precious time to anyone especially birth parents. And don't plan one visit backed up to the other if your birth parents aren't on speaking terms. Make each visit- it's own day if possible or at least not right after the other. You are not a referee or a therapist so, avoid situations that would stress one or the other out! We see Dustin on our way BACK through UT after Christmas- a totally different time period altogether!

4. HAVE Grandparent time with your kiddos. Let your mom and dad bond with your child/ren without you interfering. Go grocery shopping and leave the kids with your mom & dad. It's important that grandparents also, have bonding time with your children and your newly adopted children too! which leads me to my next tip...

5. GET a bit of time in for YOU- whether that's going shopping alone, taking a long undisturbed bath, a long walk through your old town, going snowboarding, getting a pedicure etc. YOU need it and deserve it and you will enjoy your vacation more!

6. ALWAYS take tons of pictures with your birth parents and family! DON'T FORGET to send them some after your vacation too!

7. BE careful of other peoples time. If you can ONLY get in at midnight b/c your husband gets off at 9pm and that's it- then fine, leave then but, if you have any sort of flexibility- leave at a time so you can arrive at a decent hour to your layovers or destinations. It's funny to me when people think driving through the night will get them their faster but, then they don't wake up till 11am and what's the diff. if they would have gotten in at 11am anyways. What you try to make up for in time is made up for in sleep, normally!

8. HAVE a mini reunion playdate. You may not be able to plan everyone schedules but, if you plan for a get together- invite all your old friends and cousins, and birth family members- you will at least be able to see some people that you were hoping to see, even if for a short time! The key is low maintenance with these activities too.

that's my 2 cents- happy travels and Merry Christmas!

Flashback Friday

To Halloween and our visit with Jessica and Daylen!

The kids loved playing with both Jessica and Daylen! You know kids are the best filters for BAD/ODD people, right? So, if they can see and feel love in your eyes- you are free to jump all over them and play till they peel you off!* Thanks for being very patient with the girls, guys!

We attended a Church Halloween Trunk-Or-Treat, went to a dance and had dinner with friends and played games and such. It was relaxing at times and stressful at times too ( way too many parties and cold).

Jessica and I handled this beast of a pumpkin carving project! Food Network Challenge- here we come! Bring it! ( okay not really- don't call i won't answer)

Gavin IS the BEST Tootsie Roll EVER!

I let the Girls PICK what they wanted to be this year- Brielle chose Sleeping Beauty!

Aria chose Ariel. Both girls got their costumes for their birthdays but, i had to severely alter Aria's and add 7 inches to Brielle's so, i got a bit creative with fabric and such!

We had a wonderful time and can't wait to see them in a few weeks!

* at Ballet yesterday( my class) this sweet little four year old-teacher's daughter- walks right up to ME as we were entering class and smiles and throws her arms up in the air to pick her up! I spun her around and asked her ?'s and such about her mommy and her and her age. She was just so sweet and i really loved that experience b/c I LOVE KIDS- minus a few demonic children- I think it's just so natural to me to LOVE all of these innocent children. This tiny girl saw in me something good and recognized it! I saw in her the same thing!
I think it, although hard at times, it is going to be something i treasure when it's time to do foster adoption of older children( 2+). I am excited for it but, apparently, I am not living MY Plan- but, GOD's Plan for our family and I LOVE IT! Craziness and all. I'm willing to do whatever He sees fit for me to do- period.
I know that's not every adoptive parents outlook and that's okay, it's not meant to be everyone's.
I've said this before and i will say it again:
God will give you what YOU NEED not always what you WANT!
For Couples who have been waiting a significant amount of time to love and adopt a child:
It's time to look over your LIST of DEMANDS for a child! Throw it out and start over. Make a LIST of What God thinks of you- what you think of yourself and what you can improve and change while you are waiting! You will come to find that often times FEAR and lack of education on subjects has held you back from opportunities tha you weren't even considered for b/c of your special Check List.
Obviously, you need to have your Hard and Fast Deal Breakers but, all the others stuff on your list is like asking God to not only PART the SEA and Bless YOU with a Child but, BTW, Lord- can you make this Extreme Gift have purple and silver packaging and a flawless, twinkling, Irridescent Bow, while you are at it! That's all just, that! Oh, and a few Magic, Rainbow-colored unicorns! Thanks!

You get my drift! I have had more than a handful of friends who have ditched the LIST, Gave up their will to God's Will and within weeks or months, had a gorgeous child welcomed into their famiie!