The End, Yet the Beginning...( warning - Breast Feeding Post & the Grief cycle)
We all come to different stages in our lives where we see the end of what was our life for the last um-teen years or months and the change that is ahead. Some of us are overjoyed at these next steps or end of that certain chapter but, most of us see these as bittersweet experiences. For me, the most recent one was TODAY! I seriously went through the whole grief cycle in a matter of hours. I bargained with myself saying internally " i can totally still do this if i just give up what i really need to do" " I will just try harder, then everything will be fine"! I Denied that this was going to happen today- i said now way- This is not happening! I felt GUILTY for not being a more equipped mother to my most recent baby. I was ANGRY at Myself for being a QUITTER! I held my limp , stretch marked abdomen and SOBBED uncontrollably, Hating that i didn't Get to NURSE ALL of my Babies and get that bonding time with each of them. As I held Slade in my Arms after nur...