The Christian Crew

So, most of you who have lived through infertility and miscarriage, understand how those 2 words go together. It's almost like my brain won't let my heart comprehend that I'm actually pregnant. I'm doing fine now, not so sick or anything but, mentally, it's still tough and exhausting. No matter how much I say " whatever happens, happens!" Or other things  like that- I sound negative. After 5 miscarriages over my 10 years of marriage, how can i expect that "THIS ONE WILL MAKE IT" without a shadow of doubt or worry. I really would be lying if I acted as though everything is just fine all the time. I know that as the baby gets closer to term my chances increase to successfully have a baby who lives! Our old caseworker wouldn't even remove couples profiles who got pregnant till they reached the feasible state where a baby will most likely live! In his thoughts that's 28 weeks! I agree with that b/c I've had friends lose at all kinds o...

Yep, I've said time after time that I chose to be on God's rollercoaster on how our family is to come to us! I've consigned my will over to Him who knows greater than me, than anyone of what we need when we need it! So, I'm happily (and yet with reservation) announcing that I'm Pregnant!!! Yep about 12 weeks( this friday) and feeling sick and nauseaous! It's horribly good! I cannot tell you how shocked i was considering 5 of my past 6 pregnancies have ended in miscarriage around 4-6 weeks and one at 13.5 weeks! I've been married 10 years this July and i guess the Lord wants this pregnancy to succeed but, I'm still nervous. I think once the baby is here- i will be done being nervous! In some ways having infertility issues and then getting pregnant is like adoption- you just don't believe its happening until it finally does happen! You trick your mind into thinking all kinds of things on why it wont happen then are pleasantly surprised when it does...