Our Family ~ Nov 2017

Our Family ~ Nov 2017

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

thoughts for parents without kids yet...

Recently, there has been a mixed bag of emotions being thrown around FB and blogs and such
( what's new, right?) about Couples who have bio children and choose to pursue or even look into adoption.

I fully understand that we all grieve in different ways and in different times in our process. I'm not asking anyone to speed through their emotions or telling you that what your thinking/ feeling is wrong. I just want you to take a moment to stop before you criticize, or throw out harmful words b/c you are so full of emotion and the desire to have a child.

People have that same desire to serve and love and raise a child, regardless if they have children or not. Who are you to say things that make no sense at all like... " if you adopt a child and you already have kids, then that's one less baby for a couple without kids to have!" " why can't you just be grateful for what you have been given?" " Why don't you adopt an older kid from foster care- there is a need there and you won't be taking a baby from a couple without kids?"
As So On...

Let me be clear and spread the WORD that ANYONE has the RIGHT to choose ADOPTION!

I agree that when people say they want to adopt b/c they don't want to be fat or they hate pregnancy- it kind of makes me cringe! BUT...

When people have a genuine desire to adopt, regardless of having biological children or adopted children or no children- It should be WELCOMED! Heaven forbid, we have more people who choose to welcome a child into their loving families and raise a child into a well rounded, dynamic member of society!

And NO, you are NEVER taking a baby away from someone else- that is a sad little fallacy couples who are grieving tell themselves during their pity parties! When children join a family of any kind, they are meant to BE THERE! NO DOUBT- God has His ways of making sure kids end up where they are meant to be in this special and divine process.

Birth parents often choose couples who DON'T have kids naturally but, then some do. And they do that b/c it's the choice that is the RIGHT one for them! Plus, they like to know that their child is not being "practiced on" and the parents have some sort of experience in the raising and rearing department!

Yes, there is a NEED in foster care/ foster to adopt! YES we need more families to be informed on what this really involves too.

NO, you don't have to foster 7 yr olds and teens, there are plenty of small children and some babies as well and there is a constant intake into this system and not enough couples qualified to help.( and you may or may not adopt them but, everything has risk and sharing your heart is never something i would withhold just b/c you don't know the outcome!)

NO, you don't have to go OUT of COUNTRY if you already have bio kids- Unless you feel so inclined! Then do it! ( we hope to with our last 2 in about 5-7 years)

I would like childless couples to continue in their efforts to adopt- open as many windows as you can. Expand your search, choices and so forth. Save up the funds to work with an agency that has more intake of babies or birth parents if your slower agencies( yet more cost effective ) isn't working for you. Research all types of adoption and for goodness sakes, Wrap your head around Fostering. Many children and babies are placed in permanent homes and the ones who leave your home- at least you can know you did your best for the child while you had them in your care! A great way to expand you adoption Knowledge is to come to the
REGIONAL Families Supporting Adoption Conference in Denver this year!

JUNE 8th & 9th!
Plan on it and shoot me an email or leave a comment if you aren't involved with FSA already! We will get you connected for sure!


Tiffany said...

This spoke so much to me! We have a biological child and chose to adopt our second (she just came home in January!). We actually received a lot of attitude from the agency, and they were going to refuse to work with us. They said they only work with couple who "need" children because "there are only so many to go around."
It stung. It took away some of my joy for a minute.
But then I reminded myself that we chose adoption. We wanted this. This was no second choice for us. This was a heartfelt desire.
In the end, our baby was brought to us by a connection through a friend, not through the agency. So it didn't matter what the agency wanted. Our birthparents chose us in part because we have a daughter already. They honestly didn't care about "giving someone a gift." All they cared about was finding the right home for their child.

Sassy Christian Momma said...

absolutely- right home, right family for the right child. adoption is truly a divine process. Thanks for your comment!