Transition to Grace

I have tried to write this blog post at least 7 times in the last 10 months. It's truly the hardest thing to start and really to finish.

WHY? Why is it so hard ? Well, because what I'm writing, living and understanding is, that not everyone is going to like what I'm going to say.... And That's Fine with me (now). But 9/10 months ago my skin wasn't so thick and my journey was still in the exploration stages.

Anyways, Here it is...

I left the Mormon Church I so dearly loved. And so did my whole family.

There, I said it! (sound the trumpets of judgment now)

Many Outsiders ( non-mormons)  have said : " Who cares! Thank God above. We've been praying for you, It's your Journey and I wish for the best for you" ( apathy or general Love)

Most Mormons generally respond with things like:
 ( these are what I've actually heard)

"You are going to lose your kids, your family. "You are following Satan. Your opinion is BS. You listened to some one's opinion and are following the ways of the World - Not God" "You can still come back. It will be difficult but, you can do it" "I can't believe you are willing to Give up your family forever" "What did you read? Did your hubby push you into leaving? You will not find happiness and joy outside of the Church. Did you just wake up and think, I want to give up on all these rules and being LDS? Are you going to love us/ like us any less? You must have never had a TRUE Testimony anyways. I guess you are one of the Tares. In the last days many people will falter and leave the church- you must be one of the weak ones who fell" ( fear based/ feelings based emotions)

FEW mormons have responded with " My friendship doesn't stop bc you left . I like you no matter what" "you are still welcomed here, I'm glad you found what makes you happy and you have peace about it. It's important you find what works for you.

Now...

If you are still reading this and didn't immediately block me bc I'm now a Horrific Person- Thank you- you are better than most. If you did-  You likely aren't a true friend anyways and your love and friendship were Conditional.

So, Here's a bit of my story...

I went on a personal inquest to understand God's Unconditional Love for Me, to work through some  grief, current guilt and shame of never Feeling like I am Enough, doing enough etc ( in the Mormon faith we are taught to BE YE PERFECT, regular temple attendance, read the BOM daily, fulfill a calling, have food storage, do genealogy, eat clean ( barely any mormons actually keep the WOW), keep your home like a temple, serve people in your ward and friends, pay a full tithe- otherwise you will have blessings withheld), and to understand the History of the Mormon Church I was literally upholding to the T.

 I was a YW presidency leader, Held a temple recommend, loved all those I served and stayed out of the gossip chains. I focused on doing my best and still- things were unsettled and missing. SO, it must mean I need to get a better understanding of My faith and church History. So, I started at Square one- Joseph Smith.....

( the rest of the story you can talk personally to me about)

I NEVER LEFT GOD OUT OF THIS PROCESS AND HIS SPIRIT IS STILL WITH ME

Needless to say- that Journey included continued Prayer, credible resources from the church, understanding Christianity and the differences between it and Mormons view of Christians (just fyi- Mormons do think you are following the Great and Abominable Church- and Following Satan too) and Understanding GRACE.

I started re-reading the non-mormon bible, signed up for a community bible study, a women's small group with my friend Kim, called Listen to My Life , visiting many other churches, reading Jesus's own words ( there's a bible with all RED LETTERS out there to see distinctly what Jesus Spoke to Us), joined a women's small group to discuss more with Flatirons Non-denominational Church and TWO Mops Groups ( mothers of Preschoolers- non-denominational women's group).

Why so many things? Well, when you leave a Church or peer group- you need to Find your tribe and develop new friendships with people who are authentic and will embrace you- for being you- not for being a certain faith . (BTW- I have no hard feelings for the ppl in the church who have dropped off the face of the earth. Ya'll are still awesome and I will always say Hi and have a love for you. For those in my old church whom I'm still friends with- you ROCK- you are awesome and that won't change)....

I Decided that IF I was going to make this massive change, I needed TWO THINGS outside of immediate family support..... JESUS and WOMEN! We all need support and leaving the RS sisterhood was hard. The LDS church does the whole carrying each other's burdens pretty well. And guess what? So does MOPS. I've brought meals, help with humanitarian efforts and engaged in wonderful socials outside of our regular meetings. I could continue to go on about Mops but, this is not the post to do so. back to my journey...

At the core of my desiring to Learn about my former faith was the Desire to have a more intimate relationship with God, my Father in Heaven and to fully Understand Grace- the Free Gift of Love that comes from Jesus- and only through His Atonement and Sacrifice on the Cross are we Saved.

I did chat with one friend of mine who is a TBM ( true believing Mormon) and we brought up- that People who leave the church are generally not happier..... I thought that too at one time.....But, what I am understanding more, is that people who Leave God out of this very hard transition, tend to look for all the right things ( comfort, support, connection, validation, friendships, self-worth etc) in all the WRONG places.  The old adage "misery seeks company" applies here. BUT, it's a personal journey for every individual and I hope everyone finds peace and love regardless of what they choose.

SO, as I stated, I did NOT leave God out of this process. I did however start from Scratch on who I thought God was/ is. My friend told me " Whatever BOX you have God in- Rip it up and start over- He is so much more than you think He is!" Thank you Viv for saying this to me. I needed to hear that.

You may notice a few changes in my life and some may make Mormons feel uncomfortable. I am not sorry you feel uncomfortable and I kinda don't care what YOU or OTHERS may think. I care most about WHAT GOD THINKS about ME, MY heart, My Family and all those in my Sphere of influence.

Here's what you can Expect from me now:

Unconditional LOVE FOR YOU- right where you are at- Don't change a thing- God is already loving you just as you are now.

Different styles of clothes ( be warned you may see my porn shoulders- LOL)

Trying new things and meeting new people

Authentic, Vulnerable Conversations about Real Stuff that Matters

No Judgments on however someone is living their life differently than I am

More Time-In with my kids and Family ( less church commitments on Sundays and weekdays)

Lots of FUN POSTS and Some Open Dialogue as I continue Growing in my Journey.

I WILL LISTEN TO YOU and Not Shut you Down when you share a different view than I do.

I will be serving in other roles in churches, mops etc and continuing to speak God's truth into those in my sphere. I won't be mean but, will call a spade a spade.

What Has Already changed:

Well- I lost weight- about 7 lbs in like 2 weeks, from the internal stress I had been carrying around
to become perfect. Then, with hormonal help, diet, exercise, I dropped another 23. whoohoo!!!

My relationship with God is bolder and deeper and so much more dynamic

I wake up with PEACE every morning and don't think of the endless things I need to do to EARN my place in the Celestial Kingdom  (grace is free- eternal families and eternal love is taught in all Christian religions and actually most faiths. Mormon theology teaches faith without works is dead-and if you are not sealed in a temple- you won't be with your family in the hereafter. Christianity teaches Works are an outpouring of God's love. )

I know I AM ENOUGH now- Through Jesus I am Enough. I am finally okay that I am a GOOD PERSON

I have more open dialogue and deeper love for my fellow humans. It's uncanny, right? I generally LOVE everyone even more than i did before this transition. Why? bc I have no internal motive to maybe convert you some day so we can party in the Celestial heavens together. And

What Won't Change:

My love for Adoption and Fostering, Humanitarian Efforts

Our friendships- unless you decide to bail- I can respect that

Healthy Living choices in General

Me- I will still be fun, silly, creative, ambitious, ridiculously flawed ME! Hope you are okay with that.

Just thought you should know.

*COMMENTS are TURNED OFF for a reason. I don't want this to be a space for arguing- Only for my peeps to come to understand my Perspective and Walk with Faith. Ya'll are always welcome to reach out, call, text, and will be greeted with nothing but love!

GOD IS LOVE- HIS LOVE IS REAL AND UNCONDITIONAL!

What would DIS-QUALIFY someone from Being an Adoptive or Foster Parent

I have had a few couples reach out to me lately and ask me a few questions I didn't know the answers to. You'd think after 4 home studies, 5 adoptions, involving 3 different states, that we'd KNOW IT ALL.... But, Alas, we DON'T so, the next logical thing to do was ASK....

I'm putting the answers BELOW:

Here's what Lutheran Family Services said:

When thinking about adoption or foster care, many people have questions or even anxiety  about whether they are eligible.  There are a few disqualifying things such as : you must be 21 and have no felony criminal or child abuse history. For adoption, every agency may have different requirements around religion, same sex couples, single persons or age. International adoptions have many criteria based on the country and can include age, BMI, medication for mental health issues. 

The important thing for all agencies is to place children in homes that are safe and nurturing.  Agencies are not looking for people who have had a perfect childhood or never made a mistake.   Life’s tough  experiences show your ability to cope  with difficulties and how you used services and your support system to help you.

Financial  It can be expensive to adopt and your finances will be evaluated.  It is not about the amount of money you make but how you handle money.  If you make a great deal of income but are swimming in debt, adoption fees and bringing another child in the home could be very stressful and may impact your marriage and the attachment to your child.  Many adoptive families with a modest income but financially responsible are highly successful in adoption .

Timing   Sometimes families want to apply for adoption immediately after a miscarriage and although we believe that infertility may never be completely resolved, you agency may  put you  on hold to deal with these issues before you proceed to adopt. If stresses in your life such as illness, job loss or death of a parent or family member or other issues are overwhelming , the  agency may ask you to be on hold.

Medical Everyone in your family will need a physical and recommendation from your doctor about your ability to parent. Most health issues are not disqualifying but will be explored in a home study.  If you are a cancer survivor , you would be asked about how you dealt with the illness and what your support systems would be in the future if it reoccurred.  If your  physical stated that you can’t pick up over 25 pounds due to a back injury, we would talk with you and problem solve about how you would pick up your child as a toddler.

Alcohol and Drugs. Any substance use will be discussed and if excessive or problematic to your relationships or job it would be addressed in the study.  Marijuana is not approved even if being used  for medical purposes.

From Adoption Choices of CO ( non-profit- privately funded agency)

The most common reasons for not being approved to adopt a child through the home study process are as follows:

A felony less than ten years old (case-by-case)

A felony involving domestic violence or anything to do with a child

A history of viewing child pornography/sex offender

A health issue that is life threatening and would shorten a person’s life span 

Some are:

If one person wants to adopt a child and the other person in the couple obviously does not (counseling might be recommended instead of denial)

Drug/alcohol use that is current and has never been treated

Obvious marital issues that have not been addressed

Financial deficits – unable to afford to raise a child

Also added- IT WOULD NOT disqualify you if you use MJ in CO- IF you adopt from here and emom lives here- BUT, if she lives in any state that doesn't approve of medical or rec marijiuana use- you cannot adopt from that particular state. 

Added insight...

Addictions in general that are current are a reason to be denied

Any medical condition where a person would not be able to physically parent a child or has a terminal illness

Marijuana is treated like alcohol use (case-by-case)

Overweight is ok if it will not affect their lifespan

Addicted to pain pills - denied

Here's what Adoption Options of CO has to say as well:

Personal finances are also taken into consideration as well.  We don’t want the adoption process to be too financially crippling for a family and we want to make sure families are financially prepared to care for a child. 

Certain felonies would immediately exclude them from the process

If they are not being truthful or not disclosing information that is discovered later via a background check

If it is discovered they are not in a stable relationship or there are medical /mental health problems not being resolved or managed,

drug or alcohol abuse

___________________
REMEMBER

Privately funded agencies ( meaning ones that the federal gov't doesn't contribute to) have their own rules and regulations. SO, BEFORE you LEAP- look into the agencies policies and practices and ETHICS.
There you have it! Your Answers!!!

Jesus Has No Party Line- An original poem

Jesus Has No Party Line

He is not Red or Blue

He does not care what flag you wave

But asks you to be True

Be True to those who stand in need

To those without a voice

He wants you to love everyone

But, it must be Your Choice

He does not force your hand

To do His works and deeds

He cares more about your soul and heart

That's what the Bible reads

Jesus never pointed fingers

Like Pharisee of Old

He dined with sinners, the sick and lowly

No thought of wealth and Gold

He asks us to do many things 

To follow in His Walk

But, most of all (and most important)

Love others- Don't just Talk!

Never did He say to Us

Through secrets- Enter In

No handshakes, symbols and no oaths

Only Grace, Frees us from Sin

We who call ourselves his followers

Christians, disciples of the King

Must exit off our Horses on high

Our broken hearts We Bring

And Give Our will, our hearts desire

O'er to  what He's planned 

We must have faith and Trust

It's so much more that Grand

Though Tides will ebb and storms may rage

And Life at times unfair 

In valleys when we crack and break

The Light can enter there

We are Refined in fire and pain

The smelting of our souls

To be a kinder, gentler us

Eternal are His goals

See, Jesus Has no Party Line

Except He has His Own

In the sand He marks it out

The Line where Love is shown.

~Corrine Christian

copyright Jan.29.2019