Putting your family out for the world to see and to be judged is one of the Hardest things adoptive couples have to do. Not even counting the super nosey evaluations, background checks, credit reports, blood tests, financial records, psychological interview and personal references we have to Endure! It's an entirely different Enchilada of Openness. So, I get that some people do not want everyone in their business or knowing so much about them. In the same breath- this can backfire tremendously- not being Authentic, genuine and openly vulnerable will hold anyone back from getting to know the real you through your profile/book/blog etc! This is the FIRST way your hopeful expectant parents will be able to SEE into what your real life is like!
With that said.... It's OUR time to be Vulnerable and Open and Let it all out there and Who cares if others may Judge incorrectly- that is them, they do not Really know who we are and what we are all about!
Here's a Bit about Our Journey Recently that you did not Know yet....
In April of this year, A strong prompting came to me and it was made Very clear that we need to get ready to adopt! This was always in my mind of course as we were planning to go out of the country in 18-24 months and bring home one or two littles! But, this prompting was different- it was NOT for us to wait on. I felt a strong urge to start Praying for our future birth mom, the expectant parents of this baby! I was afraid a bit though and I kind of just pushed it to the side b/c I Had already had a Plan. My Plan- ( here's where you can start judging me!)
My plan looked like this: Aug 28th- get my Mommy Makeover Surgery. 6 weeks recovery. Feb 2016 Hawaii with my girls and hubby and New improved Bod! followed by a 10-18 month wait then being whisked off to a foreign country to bring back a sweetie or two! ... It was a GOOD plan! Surgery felt right, I had lost over 100 lbs. and my body has had 7 pregnancies already ( 2 of which have succeeded to birth)! I deserved it- I EARNED it for crying out loud! So, we had saved and saved and in June, the prompting Got even stronger. Again, I still liked my plan and felt a huge pull to start our paper work for Adopting a baby! So, I put off surgery for a month to see what would come of this prompting. It was a LOT to process, changing a WHOLE 2 yr. plan into a NOW plan that was being orchestrated by God, not Brandon and myself!
In Mid July, I started to pray harder than ever! All those past few months, we had a few opportunities to adopt, presented to us. Many were good options but, not meant for us to pursue! A lot of connections were made as well! Finally, after talking it out with my very dear friend and lots of prayer, I was more open to all this change than ever before. Acceptance of change is one of the hardest things sometimes! Then...
A quite moment of peace came for me and a Very clear, surprising and distinct Heavenly message came to my mind and heart, while I was in a peaceful back float... The child I had miscarried at 14 weeks ( over 9.5 years ago), was STILL trying to find her way to our Family. SHE needs us to FIND her!
I literally stopped in my float and swam to the edge and felt a GIANT Pang in my Heart! Was this real? I did not ask to Know that the 1st child I lost was a GIRL! I already had a girl and a boy biologically and never even thought that another child would actually be CALLING to us, beckoning us to Search her out, through Adoption or any other means. I just Knew we weren't all here! Our Family wasn't complete yet!
I decided to Pray even more and my Plan started to dissolve away and began to Turn into something I had never dreamed of Before! Mind you, We have counted ourselves very fortunate to have Already been blessed TWICE with Beautiful Open Adoptions and birth Families on each side who LOVE and SUPPORT us and they Bless our lives and We count them as family because THEY ARE! They Adopted US too!
So... It got to a few days before my Month away from Surgery Mark and My Heart was throbbing at this point. I was losing Sleep and I couldn't get this out of my head or Heart. SO, I asked Again for a small gestures or a sign to let me know this wasn't just something I was Creating in my Head! I asked the Lord and his Angels to just Let me know, throw me a bone or Whack me over the Head to be sure- this wasn't ME just going nuts or wanting a baby again! I said a very heartfelt prayer and finally went to sleep that night! I woke up to STRONG impression to GET READY TO ADOPT!, which was very similar to what I already had been feeling and I accepted this! "Okay, Lord, if this is what you want- I will do my part and we will do everything to find her!"
Around 3 o'clock that day my sweet friend had sent me a BUNCH of texts and I had missed a few calls from her! I promptly called her and asked what was up! She told me she had met a beautiful girl who was pregnant and wanted to make a placement plan for her baby. She wanted to place with someone of our faith. She was 18 weeks along and my friend wanted her to meet me!
THAT was The Lightening Strike that I NEEDED! It's totally OK if this lady wasn't meant to be a part of our family- But, How coincidental that She happened to Meet her on the Day I was Hoping for a Sign or a Smack in the head! I got off the phone with my friend and turned to the Heavens and Realized- This was my sign! I thanked Him for making it as clear as day to keep going forward with His Plan. ( we have not ever heard since, from this expectant parent at all but, pray she will find clarity and love and support on her journey no matter what)
So, the Next Day, I called my surgery Center and chatted with my consultant and She was So understanding b/c SHE is a Birth Sister who just recently was able to Reunite with the sister her mom placed over 50+ years ago! She was so happy that we were following our Hearts and Promptings and gladly refunded our deposit! I called the Agency I had been chatting with to potentially do our Home Study and a couple days later started filling out the Papers.
Now, we will continue through our home study process, Get the WORD OUT to as many agencies and people that we can and WATCH How God will unfold Our Family Story!
I have Slept well ever since making this choice, to follow God's Plan for us! Brandon, at first was a bit shocked at the change of plans and it took him a couple days but, soon realized that we are getting older and how sad it would be for us to Miss out if we didn't listen.
I have talked to a few parents who didn't heed promptings and how they still ACHE for the child/ren they might of had, had they listened. MOST did listen though and I love how Each special Story has unfolded!
It's Truly a Miracle, birth, adoption and Families bonded because of both!
Ps. Our paper work is turned in and we are currently in the process of our home study and hoping to adopt! For more info, please contact our Case Manager, Emily Frank ( see side bar for all info!)
~May God Bless You All!