ABC...Advocating Ballet Class

So.... TODAY. I took my 2nd Ballet Class! Some of you may wonder WHY an old-ish lady decides to try to fit into a leotard and why on earth now?

Well, I can tell you- it's been on my mind for a while.

I have wanted to learn all about ballet and the ART of the dance- so, why not now, I'm not getting any younger and i can dance WITH my girls.( not the same class though) And I love the challenge and process I'm going through as i try and learn this new love!

Today, as we had our stretch, the teacher asked me about my baby BOY! ( i love telling his story but we didn't that have that much time so, i said yes, We Adopted almost 4 months ago... BINGO! That leads into the ADVOCACY part. I thought to myself ( sweet another op. to share my LOVE for adoption) BUT, before i could utter any thing else, Angie ( one of the students who is also a MOM) says: I'm Adopted! Where did you adopt through? Me: LDSFS! Angie: Cool, I spoke on panels with the Albequerque office a couple years back! Me: What? That's awesome!!!!
Then, Katie ( a young 20ish single gal) Pipes in: My mom placed her son, 29 years ago with a couple in England! And He met her and us a few years back!

Me: Wait- Your mom is a birth mother! Katie: Yeah and she has an open relationship with her Son and his family now!

The convos went on for the next few minutes and then on with our class! I was so STOKED that there were 3 adoption advocates in my class and i didn't even know it! I got their info and will hope to feature their stories sooner than later!

So, glad I'm taking THIS PARTICULAR BALLET class! Man, things don't just happen for any old reason! God puts people in our lives at certain times for certain reasons! LOVE IT!

Erica...

Is a Birth Mother through Foster Care! Check out her FIRST POST- It's Heavens light shining down. I hope she does some public speaking to others both Adoptive and Foster parents as well as BP's in the Foster System! I'm Thoroughly IMPRESSED!

GREAT POST

On Dr. Karen Purvis.... Please read here- i agree with this 100% - now how do we get her to speak in CO to ALL Adoptive and FOSTER Parents!

I had the pleasure of meeting her (and if my card reader wasn't ruined by a cute 4 yr old girl with big sweet blue eyes- you'd see the picture of us together:) and She is PHENOMENAL! I want to be BETTER at being a parent and i KNOW i will soak up her knowledge as a foster parent in the upcoming months!

*linked to the adoption & Foster Care blog- such a lovely one!

More Couples...

Hoping to adopt!
Thane & Annie
are seriously fun and silly- You will never lack for a great time when you are with them! Ask anyone!

And Annie's pictures do not do her justice- Gorgeous! I just want to steal her locks of loveliness too:) Have fun figuring these 2 love birds out!

"Just because she isn’t with me doesn’t mean she isn’t part of me."

----

My name is Jessica I’m 24 I found out I was pregnant shortly after I turned 23. I was so scared to find out I was pregnant. I was a college dropout in the army reserve and I was working security full time making $12/hour and was barely making it. When I first found out I was pregnant I considered abortion for about two seconds. I didn’t want my family knowing I made a mistake and I screwed up. I wanted to hide my actions. After I thought about it and then remembered my values and beliefs that thought was gone as quickly as it came. My next options were to be a single parent or place her up for adoption. I thought long and hard about what I needed to do. At this point no one knew I was pregnant. When I went to the doctor to confirm my suspicions I found out I was 12 weeks along. At this point I started reflecting on my life, my finances and where I was at that point in time. The biggest question that went through my head was can I do this on my own. After going through all these thoughts I decided me being a single parent wasn’t the best option, but the better option would be adoption. Adoption would also give me a fresh start. So I made the choice to place my daughter up for adoption. This decision was the hardest one I have ever made.

When I made the decision to place is when I told my family I was pregnant. I told my mom and my bishop. As I approached my bishop with the concept of Adoption he gave me a name of someone he knew was looking to adopt. Even though I had made up my mind I was still confused on everything but I held onto the names he gave me. A week after I told my mom and bishop my mom approached me and told me she felt compelled to approach a new couple at church who were looking to adopt again. I met them a few days later and I became friends with them. The wife Corrine helped me be comfortable with the decision of adoption. When I officially decided to place I started thinking about every person out there that is unable to have children of their own. Who am I to be a single parent when I know I can’t provide for the child as well as she needed without government assistance. I was not willing to have a child raised off of government assistance if I can help it. It would be selfish in my eyes to keep her just because she was “mine”.

I started hanging out with Corrine more often and one day I mentioned to her about the names I had received from my bishop. Corrine and I went on to Itsaboutlove.org and I found the couple who the bishop had mentioned. I read their profile and realized there were already a lot of similarities between them and I. I was attracted to them and I wanted to meet them. I sent them a message. Sending them a message was the best decision I could have ever made. During my search for a couple I only met three couples before I found one that was right. I have an open adoption with a beautiful couple. I’m glad I could place my daughter in a wonderful home. I helped start the family of a couple who is unable to have children of their own. When I was looking for a couple I had a few things that I was looking for. At first I wasn’t sure what I wanted but as time went on I realized I wanted to find a home with good values and someone who was happy in the church and could provide for my child without struggling like I would have had to do. Even though my daughter is in another home I know she is loved by many and she is provided for. She will have a better chance in life succeeding than I ever could give her. I made the choice of adoption for her. I do enjoy the open adoption. I get to see my daughter grow up from a distance. I have gotten pictures and updates on her.

As time as gone by, the decision to place has gotten easier. I experienced a lot of good and bad days regarding the decision. With all the bad days I have had I would still make the same decision to place. My daughter is in a good home and I couldn’t ask for anymore. I received a fresh start and I can make her proud of me from a distance. I can work on an education and establish a career to the point where I’m not making $12/hour. I will always love her. Just because she isn’t with me doesn’t mean she isn’t part of me.

UPDATE- Jess is not deployed as if yet but will be leaving to CUBA in the coming year. She has an open relationship with Madison and her adoptive parents! AND we are even better and closer friends than when we met years ago!

~ last pic- Jess is holding Gavin, our son from our amaing birth mom Jessica H. and Dustin H. is his birth father

New Couples

These are friends who are HOPING TO ADOPT now!

Steve & Amanda
Are ExtRa CoOl!

Seriously, they did the Tough Mudder Race, are super healthy and LOVE the outdoors and their huge family! They are full of zest for life and love! Anyone would be so blessed to find these sweet peeps!

RE-POST ADVICE FOR YOUR FRIENDS...

Advice for Friends of Adoptive parents

Many times, well-meaning relatives, friends and co-workers do things or make comments that unintentionally cause pre-adoptive and/or adoptive parents unnecessary emotional stress. The following is a quick guide that may be copied and distributed to those people in an effort to educate them on how they can support you during the adoption process.

DO...

1. DO accept our decision to adopt without question.
2. DO accept our choice of a child regardless of his/her race, heritage, age, 'social background, etc.
3. Do remain positive and enthusiastic during waiting periods.
4. DO offer to give practical help if you don't mind giving us your time.
5. DO respect our choice not to disclose details about our personal life and our decisions.

DON'T...

1. DON'T tell us that if we adopt a child we will get pregnant and have a child of "our own." Adoption does not cure infertility, and our adopted child will be "our child!"
2. DON'T react as if adoption is a "second best" or "noble" choice.
3. DON'T question our capability or readiness to parent a child.
4. DON'T incessantly ask for news while we are waiting to adopt.
5. DON'T probe for details about the birth parents or the child. We'll tell you whatever we are comfortable sharing.

Some Tips on How You Can Help us During the Post Adoption Period

DO...

1. DO be happy for our new child and us.
2. DO respect that we may want and need quiet time with our new child to bond and adjust.
3. DO understand that we might not be able to fulfill you needs as quickly as we did before we became parents.
4. DO respect our style of child rearing.

DON'T...

1. DON'T feel sorry for our adopted child.
2. DON'T make demands for our attention or our time during our adjustment phase.
3. DON'T criticize the desire to have and maintain a relationship with our child's birth-family.

(tips taken from adoption.com)

what I've been up to...

Besides doing the MOM-THING, I'm still and ARTSY SMARTSY lady! So, if you know me- you are invited!
and yes, I MADE ALL THESE from SCRATCH with no pre-cut anything and no patterns! Who needs them anyway!

WE GET A VISIT...

From Brielle's Birth Grandparents this weekend! We are SOOO EXCITED!
Phil & Dawn are so awesome and we love them like they were our own. They adopted us when we adopted Brielle! And we adopted all of Kara's Family! We love you all and can't wait to see you Saturday!

PS . OPEN ADOPTION ROCKS!

Names off the list...

YEP, I have delayed a few of these posts but, I am taking MANY names of this list again of HOPING TO ADOPT...

CONGRATS to:
Paul and April with Mason
Marty & Miriam with Wyatt
Mike & Liz with Ava ( naturally conceived after 6+ years of trying)
Jake & Traci with 2 yr. old Zander

and these couples have either adopted/ pulled off the profile/ chose a different agency to work with or we have lost touch! but i know MOST of these are to be congratulated!
Ryan and Nicole
Que & Brittany
Scott & Mitzi
Forest & Karrina
Jim & Lisa

So, There will BE a HUGE NEED to put more names ON this list- LOOK for the new friends and couples that POP up soon:) If i know you, email me and I will put you on this list too!

and a few more will be popping off that list over the next few weeks:)

Gavin's Birth Father

I hate it when ALL birth fathers get a bad rap. Even though every adoption and birth parent situation is different- without BF's - OUR KIDS WOULDN'T BE HERE! And more & more, you see bf's supporting adoption plans and/or building relationships with the adoptive families!

It's no surprise to me that they'd want to have some involvement. If I was in their shoes, I'd want the same. Take a look at Baby Darling's Birth Father! Ben is a STUD! And we are all human with Natural, deep feelings! So, when we had the opportunity, granted by Jessica, to meet DUSTIN, we were thrilled & scared to explore it!

So, during the National FSA conference we went on our lunch break and ditched the Birth father panel to meet Gavin's own birth father in the Layton Mall!

Even though I had never met him, I automatically felt a motherly/sisterly love for this young man who had played a part in Gavin's existence. Though it be by accident to some- We all know God has His Hands in the details of our lives!

Dustin is a strong, tall guy who is about 6'2" and loves to fish, camp, ride quads, does construction and loves his family! Though Jessica and Dustin have NEW relationships and are not together- they both are kind, loving and fun people!

Gavin will benefit from knowing and loving both of HIS Birth families!

I'm not sure if that above sentence HURTS Brielle's Birth father's family! We haven't talked to them in a while. So, if you are reading this- please reach out- we are open and happy to reconnect with you guys!

A Child can never have too much love! And Boundaries are important to discuss when balancing multiple birth family relationships!( a later post topic)

Anywho, When Dustin told his parents that He was a Dad both had different reactions but what He expected them to have! Dustin's Mom and i got to chat last Monday and i was kind of nervous b/c sometimes GRANDPARENTS can be very feisty and upset at these situations! But, What i got was the Opposite... She said something like " I have been talking with my friend who is a grandma through adoption twice over and i just know that God knows what He is doing and Gavin is meant to be in your family. He is Right where He should be!"

WHAT A RELIEF! She is great woman and what a blessing that she will be a strength and a support to her son!

* this is our experience so, please no posts on negative birth father stuff but, we welcome and support you in linking YOUR birth father experiences from your sites/blogs:) We'd love to hear about them!