Our Family ~ Nov 2017

Our Family ~ Nov 2017

Wednesday, September 14, 2011


Advice for Friends of Adoptive parents

Many times, well-meaning relatives, friends and co-workers do things or make comments that unintentionally cause pre-adoptive and/or adoptive parents unnecessary emotional stress. The following is a quick guide that may be copied and distributed to those people in an effort to educate them on how they can support you during the adoption process.


1. DO accept our decision to adopt without question.
2. DO accept our choice of a child regardless of his/her race, heritage, age, 'social background, etc.
3. Do remain positive and enthusiastic during waiting periods.
4. DO offer to give practical help if you don't mind giving us your time.
5. DO respect our choice not to disclose details about our personal life and our decisions.


1. DON'T tell us that if we adopt a child we will get pregnant and have a child of "our own." Adoption does not cure infertility, and our adopted child will be "our child!"
2. DON'T react as if adoption is a "second best" or "noble" choice.
3. DON'T question our capability or readiness to parent a child.
4. DON'T incessantly ask for news while we are waiting to adopt.
5. DON'T probe for details about the birth parents or the child. We'll tell you whatever we are comfortable sharing.

Some Tips on How You Can Help us During the Post Adoption Period


1. DO be happy for our new child and us.
2. DO respect that we may want and need quiet time with our new child to bond and adjust.
3. DO understand that we might not be able to fulfill you needs as quickly as we did before we became parents.
4. DO respect our style of child rearing.


1. DON'T feel sorry for our adopted child.
2. DON'T make demands for our attention or our time during our adjustment phase.
3. DON'T criticize the desire to have and maintain a relationship with our child's birth-family.

(tips taken from adoption.com)


Sally said...

Love this! Thanks for sharing.

Francisca said...

I just wanted to catch up on your blog and tell you CONGRATS! Your new little man is amazing.

After working at Family Services I really can't say how beautiful adoption really is. It is wonderful gift with all involved. I hope more families will ready your advice and learn to support their friends/family who are choosing this path.