Our Adoption Story Part 1

In February 2011, my prayers started to change. I felt this urge to start being very specific and start praying for OUR BIRTHMOM'S NEEDS! We had NOT been selected and , frankly, nothing was on the horizon. We had completed Foster Care training last October in 2010 and we had told our adoption supervisor's that we were ready to TRANSFER our profile at any given moment we just had to complete CPR training and we'd be ready to go! Kelly, said to me" Just wait a bit longer- have placement then transfer over!" Which i thought was him being crazy b/c we have felt so strongly about foster to adopt that i kind of ignored him, honestly.

My prayers would often be doubled each night- praying for HER strength, her supportive friends and family, her ability to find us and know us, her will to stand up to people who may mistreat her and so forth. I felt different things each night and just went with it and i even prayed saying that " no matter in which way she comes" via foster care or adoption- most people should care and love how and where their children come from b/c that road has led them to YOU!

And if you READ the OUR JOURNEY THUS FAR page- you will get the even further back story!

So, the 2nd to last week of March, I was watching a show where a couple had adopted some foster care kids with some delays ( usual in that setting). I was so touched and overwhelmed by the Holy Spirit and it was like i was automatically changed. I realized that instant that I was withholding blessings for our family by trying to TELL GOD what we wanted and HOW! I realized that most of my reasons for wanting another open adoption were selfish. It was about me, not about the child. My list included open contact and visits as often as possible. I wanted the BP's to be of some christian faith and much like Brielle's Birth Family! And I wanted a certain order in timing!

But at that moment- none of that mattered and i realized I was done fighting with GOD about those things and MY TIMING! I bawled on my Knees for like 10 mins. crying and asking forgiveness. I Gave UP MY WILL and said I want what you want to Bring us Lord, Whenever YOU Desire to bring it to us and in whatever form, blind, def, multiples, siblings, private, open, closed, foster care embryo adoption, etc. I DON'T CARE- I JUST WANT YOUR WILL NOW...