So be it...

Today, during a broadcast conference from leaders of our church, a phrase was repeated or paraphrased a few times over. This same theme was said in the conference for the 18+ female crowd at our RS conference, a week previous. This quote is one of my favorites and i have heard it for years and years. I first read it in a book by Stephen R. Covey - Spiritual Roots of Human Relations and I'm reading a book of his called the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families- and he quoted this again. I finally found out where it originated from and here it is:

David O' McKay, a prominent religious leader in our church,in 1954 stated that, "No success can compensate for failure in the home."

This is one of the wisest things i have ever heard- ever!

Because- if you FAIL at being a GOOD and loving parent to your children- You will have God to deal with in the end. If you fail at work or making money but are a good parent- you just have creditors to deal with till you die. You may not take your riches, if you are one who excels in business. You cannot take your possessions. You do take your guilt and your sadness that you chose to Love WORK more than your family. You made MONEY your GOD instead of the Father in Heaven who loves you. And really no success will make up for crappy parenting. I've never heard anyone quote their dying parents or friends and have them say things like: If i only would have worked more. Or... If i could have made just a little more money. More commonly it's things like: I wish i would have spent more time with you/kids and family.

So, if any of you are thinking IT'S OKAY to NOT be there for your kiddos or it's FINE if someone who really only cares about the money you are giving them- is decent for RAISING your babies... THINK again! YOU are the MOST important part of a child's ability to succeed emotionally, behaviorally, physically, and spiritually! If you are not able to MEET a child's basic needs everyday- consider the impact you are making on your children by not being present in their lives. Who is daily teaching them MORALS and VALUES and reminding them of their inherent WORTH in God's eyes? If it's NOT you- then how do you know what is being taught to your little ones daily?
In our adoption classes we face topics dealing with attachment after placement with Babies who have been neglected or abused (most of those children come through the foster care avenue of adoption) . We talked about a child's ability to internalize such HUGE emotional changes. We talked abut building TRUST with babies and kids, as a part of BONDING. The speaker hit on the fact that a child may not tell you " Hey because you makes promises that you don't keep- i cant trust you" Or " You must not love me very much b/c i hardly see you all day- work must mean more to you than i do." Kids will just lash out, throw fits or do destructive or disruptive things to get attention any way they can!

Barring you HAVE to WORK (many women do or do temporarily) b/c your husband is disabled, injured or you'd be homeless if you both didn't work. I believe most women CHOOSE to work now more than ever! They CHOOSE work over their kids. WHY? I'm not totally sure but, i think these women do not understand how VITAL the role of a Mother really is. They must LIKE having work to do more than doing the daily grind of parenting. Yeah, it may not be as glamorous as getting all fancied up to look good around your business cohorts but, IT'S way more IMPORTANT. Jr. may not know how to tell you that He hates going to daycare and he'd rather be with you- he's too young! BUT don't tell me that a child doesn't feel it- every time you drop him off with strangers- you bet he feels it!

So... I'm advocating today, for Women to LOOK into being a full time mom and a part time employee or be employed solely in the work of raising your children into fantastic young adults!
Look over your finances- see what you can give up- in order to stay home. LOOK at what necessities really are and clean up your spending and budget more. You may find you spend more money on daycare than you thought! Your kids need YOU- the living, breathing, loving nurturing mom! They need to know that no matter your income level or the amount of stuff you attain- that YOU will be there to lead and guide and love them.
If you have them form superficial bonds with daycare workers- they will want to form those with classmates in elementary, middle and HS. Then they will yearn for attention and approval from kids in HS b/c they don't have your full attention at home- then they will do anything to get that attention from you by getting into trouble with the wrong friends- any attention from you is better than none. And so on...
I've said enough...
"No success can compensate for failure in the home."
that's exactly what i mean!
And if some of you don't like what I'm saying b/c it's HITS a Nerve with You and your lifestyle- SO BE IT!

p.s. these pics are of a cute 5 week old baby i took a few weeks back. and NO, we haven't been chosen yet. Our miracle will come when it's meant to happen!