Christmas PAST- flashback to 2011

 GAVIN WAS ONLY ABOUT  6 MONTHS_ HE WAS SOO TINY!

 look at TREVOR( on Todd's lap by Gavin- looks a lot like SLADE)

 I LOVE GINGERBREAD SO MUCH- I THINK IT"S AN ADDICTION

 Gavin's Birth dad and Birth family on that side!

WE LOVE OPEN ADOPTION!

Flashback to Halloween

SO the KIDS were awesome! Gavin did the best job as a first time trick or treater! He galloped from door to door and only got frightened a few times. We are so happy they love dress up but, I'm excited for the HOlidays. I have SOOO much catching up to do on this blog and about my Works with Adoption advocacy- all good news!

 Brielle was a VAMPIRESS

 Aria was a werewolf , and a pink princess and Belle for various parties

 Slade was a scary Dragon ( he looks so vicious;)

Gavin was our lil' buckaroo cowboy! So darling!

so some cool adoption stuff

that has happened in the last  month or so...

first off- my Mother in laws FB post "Today I am thankful for two women who chose adoption over abortion. I don't know if they could possibly ever know the joy that their choice brought me and my husband. It is, in my eyes, one of the most selfless acts of love that could ever be shown. I will be forever thankful and hold a special place for you in my heart! Two other women made that same choice which brought me two of my grandchildren. You also have a special place in my heart! Thank you all!"

I too agree with everything she said! I'm one lucky lady/momma in many, many ways b/c of the Miracle of Adoption!


A couple weeks Back... i was honored to take pics of a sweet tiny girl that a friend of mine had and she and her boyfriend had chosen to place her with an adorable couple down south. I was able to meet them too.

Today someone who was visiting remembered when i was running the FSA Region here and stopped me to get info about a very special Birth mother who needs to meet Her sons birth mom. We chatted for a second then a lady in my church came up to me and told me of her daughter who is considering placement and that i needed to share my testimony of the Family and open adoption with her. 

I feel honored that God has used me as an instrument and will continue to use me, to be able to tell others that OPEN adoption can be amazing! It really can. 

Yeah, not everyone will have birth families come stay with them or have vacations together. But, for us it works. We are the LUCKIEST family ever! BLESSED is a more appropriate word. We are FAR from perfect. We don't the MOLD for the NORM of Families made through adoption- but, who ever said there was a mold to fit into?

We are us, genuine flaws and all. I LOVE sharing my experiences and LOVE meeting those who have been blessed by this Uniquely Beautiful Process. 

Thanks to everyone involved in my Craziness! BTW!

Oh- and i SOLD my LAST adoption onesie on my Etsy store today too:)

Staying busy...

With Many things at the Moment. I am Potty training our son Gavin, getting the last 17 lbs off my bod, and selling again all my overstock on ETSY. Here's some of the images below.

ccbabyinc.etsy.com

in case you want to shop or stop by!

NEED YOUR PRODUCTS SHOT? i can SHOOT anything from Florals to Filagree... buildings

to beads and anything in between. 

fun but Busy as a...

YEP! i'm spinning is circles getting stuff done! I may not be collecting nectar but, I'm doing

all i can to keep my family running smoothly, exercise, homework, piano, gymnastics, and Aria's room mom for her class. I'm involved in the PTA, RS and I got to 24 5 days a week ( most of the time)!

I've had my mom here for 2 weeks and we have sewn, made hair bows, finished decorating bedrooms, working out, and doing fun things like swimming at APEX, the zoo, dinners out, play centers, massages, shopping etc. We've had so much fun and i'm sad it's almost over. It's been a great visit and i will see her soon so- not too worried! Enjoy the fall everyone! I will post after a couple weeks post wedding and Disneyland trip!

Our broncos bow!

10 ?'s Birthmoms/parents Hate!

This is NOT MY article but, i will link you to it- SINCE IT's FABULOUS! and Insightful!

this pic is of my friend , Miki, and her family! She has such blessings after such heartache! She lost 3 babies then held her niece for 3 weeks before the niece went to her forever family! She later had 3 kids and was told she would die if she had anymore! So, she hoped to adopt for 3+ years then, it happened and Shaylee ( in yellow) joined the family b/c of a selfless birth mother!










Now, the Watt Family also waited 3 ish years and had a beautiful baby girl placed with them- only to be reunified with the Father who does'nt stay clean( but wanted the govt' handouts for this sweet girl). Then about a year later a loving couple who chose them placed their big BOY with them on FATHERS day weekend! It was an amazing day to say the least!

Adoption blesses many lives, the child, the parents and the birth parents but, we must consider what we say and educate others as we LIVE our lives! The average person really doesn't mean to offend but- sometimes they just say dumb things! Its our job to TEACH others and LOVE others as we HELP them understand what adoption entails and all the amazing people involved in it!

The End, Yet the Beginning...( warning - Breast Feeding Post & the Grief cycle)

We all come to different stages in our lives where we see the end of what was our life for the last um-teen years or months and the change that is ahead. Some of us are overjoyed at these next steps or end of that certain chapter but, most of us see these as bittersweet experiences.
For me, the most recent one was TODAY! I seriously went through the whole grief cycle in a matter of hours. I bargained with myself saying internally " i can totally still do this if i just give up what i really need to do" " I will just try harder, then everything will be fine"! I Denied that this was going to happen today- i said now way- This is not happening! I felt GUILTY for not being a more equipped mother to my most recent baby. I was ANGRY at Myself  for being a QUITTER! I held my limp , stretch marked abdomen and SOBBED uncontrollably, Hating that i didn't Get to NURSE ALL of my Babies and get that bonding time with each of them.
 As I held Slade in my Arms after nursing, Just minutes before this huge melt down- letting Him nurse as much as He wanted, Even though He was getting little to no milk from me.

He is just a few days shy of 8 months and I felt horrible that i didn't make it to the year mark like i had wanted! He was drastically under weight until 6 weeks ago when i introduced formula and bottle feeding to him. His stomach was concave and you could see his Ribs and Spine way to readily. i Nursed him so diligently over those 6.5 months of exclusive feedings- i lost tons of weight too. He must have been getting what He needed but, he was always crying and very skinny. It Felt right to introduce formula and supplement and i OBSESSED about it and changed everything to keep my milk, Herbs, more water, more grains, less exercise and changes in his surroundings. BUT, Slade has a mind of his own. He pops on and off and looks around- the social guy! He was ready long before i was to eat other foods and He needed more than what i was producing. Again- the Guilt and Depressing feelings of inadequacy! My own sister could feed 4 babies without batting an eye with her Production!

Anyway- back to today- I sat there with my baby in my arms, now just playing on my lap and bored of my lack luster offerings, and in walks my oldest child, Brielle! He latches on for kicks and giggles and Brielle says to me, as she looks over my shoulder- I'm so Glad You Had Slade, Mom. He is the Best Surprise! Tears welled up in my eyes as i thought about what Kara must have felt again, what I could have done to Nurse her ( since i miscarried 2 days before she was born) and how this is THE END of my Child Bearing LIFE as I know it! This is the last time i will ever nurse a baby- ever! He is our LAST child from my worn down Body! My womb has housed 7 tiny people- 2 who made it all the way to our family on earth! Over these last 11 years- we have had highs and lows and I'm extremely grateful for each one of our children and how they came into our family! They are all precious in every way to us!

This Year I've Had my LAST birth Child, My last BABY, My last time suckling an infant and knowing every tiny detail in this sweet face b/c i spent the last 17 months carrying and caring for him!
I will NEVER have this experience in my earth life again. WHY? b/c our family isn't meant to grow this way again. I've been through enough and We just know it's NOT GOD'S PLAN for our little family. I Don't know what else to say- it's just what we KNOW without a doubt! Plus with my luck I'd be 36-39 before i stayed pregnant again and it would be fraught with many miscarriages again, no doubt ,b/c of the PCOS and Hormonal imbalances i struggle with.

The Last Part of the Grief Cycle Hit me about 2-3 hours later, ACCEPTANCE! Brandon Held Him as i was Bawling and He said- "Well, at Least it's not the end of Slade!" I laughed through my tears  and went to my room to change clothes and i continued to sob as i readied my Hair and outfit. I wept and just continued to be overwhelmed with the Magnitude of what this means. The Light finally started to shine through as i recalled all that i have ENDURED through and how it made me who I am today!
I May not be perfect but, b/c of my infertility issues, my adoptions, my passion to share what i have been through and willingness to bear my soul- I have GROWN and impacted others ( well, at least a few people that i know)! 

I also thought about how NEAT this next phase is going to be- Gavin & Slade are going to be best buddies here pretty soon- and gang up on me:) They are going to be into mischief and fun and share bedrooms and toys ( fat chance if G has anything to say about it right now though- he is a toy hoarder:)!

MY BOYS are growing, my life is changing, i get to PUSH my Physique to the next level and get rid of the last 28 lbs without Nursing making my body confused! I get to OWN this body forever so, It's my turn to Take Care of ME! Often times I see moms who have just GIVEN up on treating their Physical temples with Love, gentleness and Care! They LET THEMSELVES GO! It's heart breaking for me and there is no way they can be truly Happy feeling STUCK in their current state!  I Know It's a Challenge to Lose weight- but it's the BEST one- anyone can commit to. It's not the END of the WORLD to be overweight but, It can END YOUR LIFE if you do nothing about it! The long and Short term effects are horrible on every faucet of every organ of your body! I know, I've done this whole weight loss thing three times in my adult life!

I am so EXCITED to see what our future holds. When Slade hits 1 or 2, will we start Foster Care? Will we put our papers in for Foreign Adoptions soon or in 4 yrs? Will we be in our new house? A new School? A New Town? What will this NEW BEGINNING hold? I can't wait to find out!!!
~CC

There went the summer

I can't believe he is already 7 months old... There went the Summer too.

 Next week the girls start school. Both will be in Full day and we love our school! Aria got Brielle's teacher and we couldn't be happier about it b/c she is fabulous and an award winning as well!

I had good intentions to post more and if it was my business- it would take more of a priority but, it's not right now. I still plan on having some great and informative posts once things slow down again ( if they ever do).

Anyways, we have had fun doing swimming classes, playing, splash park, floating on the clear creek and much more. So sad that my friend moved back to Idaho again but happy for her family! Im looking forward to FALL and all it brings. Lots of visits, a couple weddings, another Trip to Disneyland & the Beach, school days and dance, piano and gymnastics classes for the girls. the boys and i will enjoy the parks, library story time, gym classes, biking , grandma Leslie, aunt Di and uncle Glen come to visit and possibly more. We have a family reunion coming up in Nov. which we hope to attend and then are keeping tied down over the Christmas holidays.  I must say, writing it all out really makes me freak out b/c it puts Slade at turning one in only 5 short months. AHHH nuts!  Well, i guess i will just have to soak these baby moments up.
Oh and Gavin is SOOO MUCH FUN right now. I love his little sentences and lively personality. He says " mama, I want to EEEAT!" very well! He is a STRONG boy too- he can do lateral leg raises like nobody's business and loves to kiss, cuddle and throw things!ALL BOY! ( MInus wearing his sissy's shoes;) Til next time!

oh and i started doing my Photography again! 

a little slice of heaven

Without bragging too much- Lets just say we got to enjoy a beautiful cabin up in the woods for a couple days last week as we celebrated Aria's 6th Bday!

Aria and Brielle loved playing by the river and finding all the COOL stuff around the cabin and property- they found hidden doors, keys in stumps, little critters, neat carvings in the wood details o the house and outside and a fish and crawdad too!

 The first day of fishing Brielle caught a lil' guy and the second day- Aria decided to dangle a worm in the water off the ledge and caught a crawdad. He was a meaty looking one too!

Her birthday was a success and so much fun ( pics on that to come)! Thanks everyone who made it so and thanks to Gma Betty for ALL your help!

This is the gorgeous view of the mountains and valley and river we had right out our window and from the campfire area! we truly enjoyed this retreat and will come back again!

I'm so happy our summer had been a blast and we have 2.5 weeks left ( can't believe it's almost over)

Its bittersweet for sure! Things to look forward to that i will post on and have guest posts on:

Our kids summer wrap up

Birth Families and Bio Families- 

where to share and when to draw the line

What a birth mom is looking for

Helping in your community

Seeking instead of waiting

Foster care's pros and cons

Success in the FC System

and so much more.

Hope you are all having a very fun summer!

MANners!

Being a mom of boys if FAR more exhausting than it has been when my girls were small. Let's be real here for a moment and compare...

Girls only once touched their own poo.
Gman- has taken off his own diaper more than i can count on all appendages and played in his feces!

Girls hardly ate their foods or finished everything on their plates
GMan- CANNOT eat enough. He could finish 2-3 servings, if i let him.

Girls want to Dance around things and hop from here and there
Gman- Bulldozes into you and anything he can!



The differences are astounding and it has nothing to do with wether my kids come from my body or their birth momma's tummy. Boys are rough and tough and
yet they are cuddly mommas boys. Im so in LOVE with my big boys and so happy to be their momma!
Gavin is amazed and so animated about everything wether its a airplane or a bug flying around!
  He can jump and gallop and kiss and hug just about anyone.

Slade is rolling around, starting to get up and push forward almost an army crawl and he says " mamma " He grabs everything and it all goes in his mouth. He smiles and giggles but is mainly a clingy love bug. He sucks his two fingers and toes! Its my favorite!

I just hope and pray and try every day to be the best Mom to my Little Dudes!

Project Cuddle- an affordable option for adoption

 I found this awesome site via FB! I wanted to see what projectcuddle.org was all about!

And  I found out! This organization was set up to SAVE babies from abandonment. According to the site research, over 20,000 babies in the US are abandoned every year. Lots of them are not even saved , meaning they end up in places like trash cans, boxes, ally dumpsters and so on. Some are placed by the parents in hospitals, fire stations and other places via the Safe Haven Law.

Learn how to be a Rescue( adoptive) Family and SAVE a child while gaining a precious member of your family! The Big difference with this Org , is that they DO NOT CHARGE A THING!!! What? Is this TrUe? 

Well, according to the site- you do your own home study thru a reputable agency ( I know you can get one in CO for about 1,850.), and plan on having money set aside for travel, baby needs and such(please see site for ALL info).

I think this is a great org and I'm excited to get involved when I have  more time in my life ( like  6 months- a year from now- but who knows could be sooner). Check under the volunteer link and see what you can do to help save Babies in your area. Back when i lived in Las Vegas, there were a reported 20-25 babies left at hospitals or thru the safe haven law each month. That doesn't count the ones that were discarded.

It breaks my heart but, this really happens and I personally know over 30 couples who would love to have a child to fill their  empty arms and full hearts.
If you are reading this and need assistance in any way please don't hesitate to call them or any other great contact you might have. I could give you many numbers but i'd prefer you go directly to the source. Thanks!

Life and Balance...

 SO... Obviously life is very busy right now so, things suffer. Let's be real- having REAL balance in your life is an absurd goal when it comes to a summer schedule!  ( i shutter at the sound of that word)! That's why i'd rather  have a routine. See that sounds like I'm not so rigid, right?

My routine includes waking up each morning- often before the sun is fully up- to nurse Slade, watering the garden, weeding, breakfast for four, chores, swim practice , cleaning, lunch, a small amount of rest or down time then onto the next meal and more cleaning. It never ends. Once the boys go down at 6:30, im off to the gym or for a walk or whatevs. Sometimes, there are wrenches thrown in this plan/routine, like bumps and bruises, dental appts, dr. appts, jury duty, poop clean up ( man an his digestive issues), deep cleaning, errands and so on . Its exhausting being a mom of 4! Im worn out every day. Mind you, i have to often make 2-3 diff. foods per meal b/c of food allergies.  My sink if almost always full of dishes and without  my babysitter or house helper- it would totally suffer even worse.SO, YEAH, IF MY HOME ISN'T PERFECT- ITS B/C I ACTUALLY LIVE A FULL LIFE! And here's my sign....

Also, Ive lost 56 lbs since i had Slade and i have plenty more to loose still. but, Im doing a great job ( yes Im patting myself on the back)!!!

I think anyone who sets a goal  and makes progress should be congratulated- Give yourself props- by all means- you deserve it. One of the gals in my IRON WARRIOR class said that Im a little Over confident but she later recanted and said she wishes that she had more confidence in herself. I've never thought of myself as a confident but, i sure as heck KNOW that I'm worth something!SO, that's why i work HARD and SMART when it comes to workouts, my kids, life and such. Lifes just too short to hold back!

In closing, My life isn't perfect or hardly ever in BALANCE b/c there are things that take precedence over other things each and every day. Naturally, an out of balance life means you are LIVING it to the fullest and my life IS in HARMONY as much as it can be right now! My kids are healthy and happy and growing like weeds! My relationship with my husband is great and we go on dates almost every weekend! What more could i ask for? Life is just Wonderful, chaos and all and i wouldn't have it any other way!

Birth Families- an extension of LOVE!!!

So , its been 7.5 years since our first open adoption and here's where we stand with everyone.( at least from my vantage point)...

Brielle's Birth mom, Kara, has a full open adoption relationship- we visit when we can ( she is two states away) . Her parents and siblings and grandparents all keep in touch. We all visit when we can which is at least once a year but we shoot for more. we last saw her and the family in June! We love and miss them and are sad they are so far away but that's life! We have our birth families stay in our home when they visit and we stay with them when the opportunity arises. ANd we look forward to planning a vacation together next couple of years!

Brielle's Birth dad- Kyle is still keeping his distance and still keeping his eye on us through FB and this blog but, that's all he can do right now and we respect that. His parents want more communication but we need to figure this all out again- its been 7 years since we have seen them. they are sweet and we are excited to see what unfolds- his family just moved back to LV so now both Birth families are there
( of B's). Now that she is older- we have to take her feelings in consideration with all of this.

Brielle reads her Placement /Sealing Day card that Kara wrote her often and she loves it. Its a special card just to her and when she read it the other day- i just lost it! I'm a huge baby when it comes to EMO stuff!

Gavin's Birth families....

Jessica ( his tummy momma) is still in contact with us and we text and FB here and there and chat on the phone whenever possible. We miss her- we haven't seen her since last July. It's kinda sad-its been a year. We totally want her to come visit but understand that she has a new life- working, friends, dating and fun and we are so glad she can have all those things and experiences. She is amazing ( and still gorgeous)!!! I hope she always knows how much we love her and WANT her to be around whenever she can. We see her family around her whenever we travel through UT and can't wait for the day again! They are all great peeps!

Dustin, Gmans Birth father- is growing up like crazy.

He bought a house, is working hard and dating a sweet lady we really like! They may end up hitched but who knows! He just saw us in early June! We visit with his Brother, Mom and dad and have met his siblings and extended family as well. they too are fabulous people!!! We stay with Gma Tammy when we go to UT mostly! ( btw-we call ALL our grandparents, grandpa and grandma, which makes our kids look like they have about 7 sets of grand folks!- hey you can never have too much love).

All in all- we LOVE our birth families- I'm trying my best to be a good communicator but Alas, I'm flawed so, If i've ever offended or not communicated properly- Im very sorry.


We Value these relationships and know that this WORKS FOR US- though it may not work for others!

We have no idea at this moment when we adopt again.
BUT- we know we will one day- just not for at least....

three years or more!
We think about foster care ( since we did all that training) and overseas adoption as well.
I'm content right now with my 2 in diapers and 2 in full day school this fall.
We love our crazy life and are so glad it's been made this way. We are a HYBRID family in the adoption spectrum
and our parents may have to SHARE our kids with many grandparents but, that's just how it is- We wouldn't have our special kids with out our birth families and we celebrate them and really have adopted their entire families!~~~~


PS.  sweet & funny bits...
 Brielle- wrote her letter to Santa early this year it reads
" Dear Santa, i don't wont enything this year- i just want everywon on erth to have fun!"

Aria- still- once in a while asks who her birth family is (silly girl) and can often be heard around the house saying : fire in the hole!

Gavin tried to figure out what Slade was doing while he was nursing the other day so he leaned over and kissed the side of my boob twice trying to copy Slade- then he patted it- like he does to Slade's head. Then he hopped down and went on his merry way to his Cars- it was cute and hilarious! Curious little guy! Love it!

* pic of Dustin swinging Gman around at the splash pad in LV and Gman splashing back!

**fun video of Gavin's personality and playfulness when we went to breakfast with Dustin, his mom and his girl and Gma Betty!

Back in the Saddle

WOW! I cant believe 6 months has flown by so quickly! Where did the time go? I am so happy to announce that i will be back blogging again with my main emphasis on family, my family, adoption and issues related to all aspects in between. You might occasionally here a few reviews on books, products and such but mainly the above stuff. So, yeah, I can back track too much ( or you'd get bore to tears of a million flash back fridays ( i will post a few) but the next bit should get you up to speed...

Where are we now? Staying put in the Denver Area suburbs, raising 4 kids, swimming& lessons, workouts, walks, naps, gardening, hanging out with friends, learning to balance life, going on dates with my hubby ( we just celebrated 11 yr on the 5th of July!) and building a business. My husband is loving the real estate company and the ownership position. Its tons of work but well worth it! The kids are growing like weeds! we tube down rivers, do gym and dance and B fly fishes and we had a great vacation in SD and Disneyland! Yep we finally went and even bought  year passes ( we WILL be back!)  Here's a few pics from our trip( tons missing from other phones/cameras)

The girls before we took off and Gavin on HIS B-DAY! 

  IN TOON TOWN and D-Land!

  SLADE Happy at Lunch for G-man! We celebrated his bday at a nice restaurant in Downtown Disney and he got a special Sorbet ( since he is allergic to WHEAT, SOY and DAIRY)

 Grandpa Danny was so great and patient the WHOLE trip. we loved Having him and our time together!

 The girls couldn't stop climbing on this statue. 

 Brielle and Her Special Snow white outfit! ( with her dwarves in the back)

 The girl who  pouts while she has everything- ARIA !

This is just a few of the pictures, obviously! And To say the Least- It really was so magical! I will talk about visiting the birth parents we were able to see while on our trip in another post! Just know- i will be posting again! YAY! hope you are all enjoying your summer vacations too!

Fun Times @ Easter!

Aria and Brielle had a cute custom Easter bow made for them this year! They came Mid March and the Girls started planning all the Easter fun from then on!

They couldn't wait to dye Eggs and loved taking the old plastic eggs and hiding them throughout the house as preparation for the real Day! We also focused as a family on LESS stuff for Easter and what the REAL message is. We watched the BIBLE series on the History Channel and the Life of Christ Videos on lds.org. Brielle really understood for the first time in her life what Jesus Christ did for Everyone and for Her. She sniffled and choked up watching the Romans whip Jesus and the scenes as they nailed Him to the Cross. She grabbed my arms and said in a subdued voice- He must really Love us to Die for Us. I started crying and told her that He loves her that much! She said to me- He loves all of US that Much, momma!

We had a ward party and egg hunt and enjoyed the company of Uncle Brian for the week before Easter!
 He was sooo sweet and fun with the kids. He got to Sled, Roller Skate, Go to the Nuggets Game, out to dinner, babysit for a couple hours, go swimming at the Apex and more. We loved having him here!

Slade Loved him too!

I was on the decorating committee for the church Easter Party and i 

made a whole bunch of mini Cupcakes for it too!

Aria and all the kids loved the party!

Slade Fell asleep on his Favorite Uncle...named Brian!

Gavin LOVED the Eggs but was more interested in Candy that was in them!

This is the girls Easter Sunday! I will have to shoot the full kids pics in their cute outfits soon.

 right now we have snow! Cant wait until its gone but I'm happy we have moisture!

The girls picked out their own dresses this year too! It was pretty fun watching them try them all on- they like wayyy to many dresses to get them all.
Now, Slade is 3.5 months, Gavin is almost 2, Aria is 6 in July and Brielle is a few months shy of 7.5 yrs. They are all growing up way to fast for my liking! Aria is excelling in Gymnastics and loving it! Brielle just started Ballroom Dancing and seems to enjoy this very much. Gavin loves to play blocks, wrestle with anyone and the dog, make trouble and hug and cuddle with almost anyone! He is talking a lot more now too! Slade is finally laughing a bunch now and smiling and drooling for days. He is sleeping well and night and getting into more of a routine now.
Brandon is staying very busy with Building the Real Estate Company and hiring lots of awesome Realtors in the process. He is enjoying going to the girls practices/classes, wrestling with Gavin and making Slade laugh. He is an awesome husband and Father!
Im busy with the occasional cake or cupcakes for events, Selling cute things on my etsy store, taking care of the kids, house and working out as much as possible! So far- Ive lost 47 lbs since Slade was born. Its hard and wonderful all at the same time. Im so blessed to have our little family and my relationship with B and with My Father in Heaven. Everyday( even the ones where we clean up smeared feces) is a gift! I love my little life and growing Family!!!