My prayers changed. My heart grew and I began to inhale what i was trying to avoid- The Stuff Out of my Control! I embraced it a few months back and in my prayers, I asked for Strength to do what HE wanted me to do - not just what I wanted to do.
I also felt inspired to start praying not only for all those involved in adoption and all birth parents to have support and love but, to specifically start praying for OUR birthmom! Yep, I said it. We have no idea who she is but, i felt that it was time. Each night, I'd sit in front of my Heater/Fireplace and pray for her before i went to bed. Sometimes I'd ask God to give her strength, comfort, support, avoid danger, help where she needed it and LOVE to surround her. Each night it was something different and what i felt she may need at that moment. It started to become really real to me.
On the outside... I ran around spouting out to everyone that we are switching to foster care/ foster adoption. We have long since finished our training hours and were just waiting for the RIGHT time to switch. We developed such a great understanding of those who are foster parents and those who are involved in this process. It's Hard and No doubt will be emotionally and mentally painful at times. So, Why do I feel the need pray for OUR birthmom if we were switching over to FC? I really don't know. But, i did say in my prayers " which ever avenue our birth mom comes to us" meaning if it was through LDSFS or FC. B/c Why not pray for every birthmom, right?
I'm not above the people who have thier children taken away in FC. I'm just in a different place in my life, with different background, skills, abilities that will benefit children's growth. I do not look down on them but, rather am sorrowful that FC birth parents didn't have the LOVE they deserved as children. We are SO BLESSED and lucky as Christians to have stable homes and moral compasses, centered in Christ and it's our duty to share His Love with Others- Especially those who know little about love ( like the FC Birth parents).
So... To whoever you are, sweet future birth parents.....
We LOVE You, we hope the Best for you and are so honored to one day meet you and welcome you into our lives, if the situation permits! We pray for you often and know that God is working Miracles in both our hearts through this process. You will always be a treasured JOY and part of our forever family!
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