Our Family ~ April 2017

Our Family ~ April 2017

Monday, January 24, 2011

Casting Stones and Judgment

(this is a RANT post- just so, you are ready)

Lately, i've been reading a few birth mom blogs
( they give me strength and courage and hope) and i have been improving our profile , adding new and updated pictures and trying to figure out why my header is so dang blurry when in PS it's not!!! (I have re-sized it like 10 times-grr- as to not compress too many pixels)

Anyway, I have been thinking about what the world must think of both birth parents and adoptive parents.
Those who are not in our adoption world, say disgusting things about us like: "who'd ever give a child up, must be crazy" "adoptive parents only care about themselves" Parents who want to adopt more kids than 1 or 2 are baby hoarders and selfish people- be grateful you have any" " how could you think that someone could love a baby that is not of their own blood?" " I'd never adopt- i don't want to be a permanent uncle" " people who are adopting kids are noble"( i hate that one) .. YOU GET MY POINT....

These uneducated people have wasted too many days dissing and putting down all of us!
Birth parents are NOT CRAZY or Selfish and KNOW that Bonds are formed stronger with those not of our blood ( think about your spouse, boyfriend, or best friends- they are not blood). And those who even consider adoption as an option are thinking about the well being of their child- not themselves at all!!! They don't want to end up a statistic of what happens to unwed couples: poor, on welfare, unmarried, lack of education, and bound for pregnancy again.
Expectant parents are considering all the options on how to give this tiny little being the BEST chance for success and LOVE and happiness possible. And Adoptive couples are like that beacon of light at the end of a long and dark tunnel.

When people say things to me or others ( like the above mentioned) I normally impart a bit of wisdom with kindness. AP's are NOT baby hoarders or greedy or permanent uncles. They do not seek to take away a precious being and leave BP's empty handed. AP's are normally LOVING and have open arms ready to receive the BP's as a new part of their family! YEP, more and more couples are choosing open adoptions and all involved have benefited, immensely. We are trying to BE NOBLE, just hoping to be parents to a child/ren for the first, second or 10th time!

I hope that you, who read this, impart wisdom to those who knock adoption down. Stand up for what adoption really is : A Beautiful, Heavenly, Miracle! And to keep it this way AP's must be totally honest with their birth parents and vice versa. Communication is KEY to success with open adoption and we all need to stop Casting stones or judging people who are not " JUST LIKE US". If i were a world leader, I'd want everyone to take a step back and look at how we are ripping apart one another instead of building up each other. We need to be more CHRISTIAN and less Narcissistic!

I'm not going to lie. I know we are judged everyday. Even by birth parents looking for their match. We may have too dark of hair, too many kids, too many freckles, not the right house or job or pet, not enough education and what have you... But, that kind of Judgment, i can take b/c i know it will lead someone special to their family and someone even more incredible to ours! Just be a little easier on all of us, world of critics! Sit in our shoes for a day, deal with infertility while everyone around you breathes and gets pregnant.Willing to give a limb and everything in your bank just to have a child. Or try being a pregnant, 20 something with a huge weight on her shoulders, not knowing where to turn. I DARE YOU- THEN see if you can cast stones at us! You wouldn't last a minute!!!

~C

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