Thursday, March 10, 2011
...of opinions don't just run rampant in the WORLD, they are all over the adoption community too.
Take today.... I'm in the park and see this cute chinese baby being put into her swing. I look up and her mother is white, which generally leads to adoption ?'s that are always positive and not too intrusive b/c you never know where someone stands.
Our conversation led to Brielle's adoption situation and the lady says"I think open adoptions are all about the birth parents- they are uneccessary and there is no REAL study that supports the " this is best for the child" bit! And you know - you can close your adoption at anytime don't you?"I'd never chose that so, we had to go foreign".
I cited the ONE study i knew about and said the good and the bad about it but, ultimately- it stated the Obvious...when children know more about their adoptions and things are open- it's not a mystery or a secret...leads to healthier self esteem/ worth...and children understand more as they grow and in young adulthood come to accept and KNOW that their birth parents chose what was BEST FOR THEM! It wasn't about the birth parents but, having them available was healthier, in most cases.
Adoption professionals generally agree that the child will be least confused about loyalties to either parents when the open relationship between the adoptive and biological parents is clear and positive.32
what more can we say? I pity those who understand little about open adoption and i really thought there were barely any people who wanted closed adoptions. I guess there are a few out there.
PS- read these CUTE things Aria said to her teacher about us! so funny!